I get comments from people who don’t like my continuous references to beer. Apparently the puritans in the world think that personal growth and enjoyment of life don’t go together.
However, apparently not all my readers are offended by my occasional references to beer. Several readers have written since my last aMusements column with supportive comments about my second most favorite beverage. Most favorite? Water, of course.
A reader from Ireland writes to say that everyone knows that Guinness is good for you and invites me to share a few pints at a certain pub in Dublin. He also asked me to share this article with you. It just over 2 weeks, it will be St. Paddy’s day and much Guinness will be imbibed. Slante.
A reader from Norway pointed me to a Finnish study that showed that beer helps prevent heart attacks, especially amongst people who have diabetes; and also helps prevent kidney stones. I recently had a cat that died from complications resulting from kidney and bladder stones. Perhaps if I had fed him beer, he’d still be around to share my life.
A reader from California writes to tell me that I know practically nothing about the health benefits of beer and suggests that I should check out this site. After reading the multitude of articles here, I decided to take a break and go have a cold one. After all, I enjoy life and want to be around for quite a while, so I had better take precautions to preserve and protect my health 🙂
Some major philosophers comments on beer…
“Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” – Babe Ruth
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” – H.L. Mencken
“When we drink beer, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” – George Bernard Shaw
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – Dave Barry
“Remember “i” before “e”, except in Budweiser.” – Professor Irwin Corey
“Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.” – Carl Worner
“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato
And finally, a thoughtful reader from Canada sends this bit of beer philosophy…
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- -your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions–things that, if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
“The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else–the small stuff”.
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.”